Time to 'let go'. One service to lead and one (unscheduled) meeting - and then ... Emails and phone calls will be dealt with by others - meetings will happen and I won't be there to influence the course of debate, I won't be able to meddle - which is of course my favourite activity!
Letting it all go has been the hardest bit of preparation and I worry about the loose ends I have left - and probably worry even more that everything will be fine without me!
There is of course a real Advent theme here so perhaps it is right that I wrestle with it. The idea that God 'dwelt among us' as one of us only takes on meaning when we understand that God was in some way becoming vulnerable. I have always found the Jesus as 'fully human' bit of traditional Christian teaching easier to grasp than the 'fully divine' take on it. Jesus faced the realities of life (and death) and could not be in control all of the time. I need to work through that thought.
As I was struggling to find a way of expressing all this, a friend posted the picture above on Facebook. It has given me the kick I need to stop worrying and get on and enjoy new discoveries.
I remembered too a bit of liturgy I used earlier in the year - slightly adapted - it sets me on my way.
As Columba laid down
his books and the security of the monastery
So I will try to lay aside what is past and look to the future.
As Aidan and Cuthbert
let go and travelled hopefully on
So I let go hurt and pain and travel with hope
As Hilda changed
direction and relinquished cherished plans
So I leave behind familiar patterns and take new
steps into the unknown.
And this observation, Andrew - that God dwelling among us itself allowed for a few loose ends. It isn't a tidy story just as the birth wasn't a tidy birth and the early refugee years weren't tidy. Does God deliberately invite others to pick up divine loose ends? Is this how they weave themselves into the life of God? Is it part of your colleagues' and members' ministry of care to pick up any (though for the life of me I can't imagine what!) loose ends you might have gifted them? Just a thought :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd quite coincidentally, I read this this morning: "Rodin despised the outward appearance of 'finish'... he preferred to leave something to the imagination of the beholder. Sometimes he even left part of the stone standing to give the impression that his figure was just emerging and taking shape. To the average public this seemed to be an irritating eccenctricity if not sheer laziness... To them artistic perfection still meant that everything should be neat and polished."
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